Monday, June 16, 2014
Relationships & the Purpose of Life
According to Oxford
Swinburne writes as a Christian,
and within the Christian tradition the best and most interesting person is of
course God himself, who sets the context for how Swinburne’s description of ‘the
good life’ is to be understood. First, Swinburne is surely including friendship
with both God and with human beings within his description of ‘the good life’. Second,
one might wonder why Swinburne puts an emphasis upon friendship rather than love,
but the English word ‘love’ may be too vague for Swinburne’s purposes. A recent
article in The Guardian pointed out
that the question ‘what is love?’ is the most searched for phrase on google.
Psychologist Philippa Perry responds to the question:
Unlike us, the
ancients did not lump all the various emotions that we label ‘love’ under the
one word. They had several variations, including: Philia which they saw as a deep but usually
non-sexual intimacy between close friends and family members or as a deep bond
forged by soldiers as they fought alongside each other in battle. Ludus describes a more playful affection
found in fooling around or flirting. Pragma is the mature love that develops over
a long period of time between long-term couples and involves actively practising
goodwill, commitment, compromise and understanding. Agape is a more generalised love, it's not
about exclusivity but about love for all of humanity. Philautia is self love, which isn't as selfish
as it sounds. As Aristotle discovered and as any psychotherapist will tell you,
in order to care for others you need to be able to care about yourself. Last,
and probably least even though it causes the most trouble, eros is about sexual passion and desire.
Unless it morphs into philia and/or pragma, eros will burn itself out. Love is
all of the above. But is it possibly unrealistic to expect to experience all
six types with only one person. This is why family and community are important.[3]
For Swinburne to simply say that
the greatest human well-being is found in ‘love’ would readily bring to mind
the exclusive and romantic sort of love that the ancient Greeks referred to as
eros/pragma. Whilst valuing eros and pragma, the Christian tradition has always
put the self-giving kind of love the ancient Greeks called ‘agape’ (i.e.
charity) at the centre of its vision of ‘the good life’ (cf. 1 Corinthians
13:4-8). It is thus two way relationship
characterised by self-giving charitable concern for the good of the other
person that Swinburne highlights by talking about friendship with ‘good’
people, for it’s obviously agape love that automatically characterise the
friendship of a good person. Other
kinds of love, including romantic relationships, find their proper place within
this overarching vision of agapistic friendship.
As Benedictine nun Catherine Wybourne writes in The Gurardian:
Love is more
easily experienced than defined. As a theological virtue, by which we love God
above all things and our neighbours as ourselves for his sake, it seems remote
until we encounter it enfleshed, so to say, in the life of another – in acts of
kindness, generosity and self-sacrifice… love is life's greatest blessing.[4]
Recommended
Resources:
C.S.
Lewis, The Four Loves (Fount, 1960)
The
Guardian, ‘What is love? Five
theories on the greatest emotion of all’, Thursday
13th December 2012,
www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2012/dec/13/what-is-love-five-theories
Notes
[1] Richard Swinburne,
‘The Christian Scheme of Salvation’ in Michael Rea (ed.), Oxford Readings
in Philosophical Theology
vol. 1: Trinity, Incarnation, Atonement
(Oxford University
[4] The Guardian, ‘What is love? Five theories on the greatest
emotion of all’, Thursday 13th December
2012,
www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2012/dec/13/what-is-love-five-theories
Labels: Purpose
